Motherhood is often spoken about in extremes.
The joy.
The love.
The life-changing moments.
And while those things can be true, so can something else:
That motherhood can feel overwhelming.
Lonely.
Disorientating.
Heavy.
This Maternal Mental Health Week, we want to make space for the conversations that are often left unsaid.
Because alongside the beauty of motherhood, there can also be anxiety, sadness, rage, fear, identity loss, exhaustion and emotional struggle.
And if that is your experience - you are not failing, you are human.
The Reality More Women Live Than We Realise
Maternal mental health challenges are incredibly common, yet many women suffer in silence.
- Around 1 in 5 women experience a mental health problem during pregnancy or in the first year after birth.
- Perinatal anxiety and depression are among the most common complications of pregnancy and postpartum.
- Many women wait months before asking for help often through fear, shame or believing they should be coping better.
These experiences can affect anyone, regardless of background, support system or how wanted and loved a baby is.
Mental health struggles do not discriminate.
And they are not a reflection of how much you love your child.
It Doesn’t Always Look How You’d Expect
Sometimes maternal mental health struggles look obvious.
But often, they don’t.
They can look like:
- Smiling while quietly struggling
- Feeling numb when you thought you’d feel joy
- Constant worry that won’t switch off
- Snapping at people you love
- Feeling disconnected from yourself
- Crying over “small things”
- Feeling guilty no matter what you do
- Looking like you’re coping from the outside
You can be functioning and still finding it hard.
You can love your baby and still feel lost.
Both can exist at once.
It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
There is so much pressure placed on mothers to be grateful, glowing and coping.
But needing support does not make you weak.
Finding it hard does not make you ungrateful.
Not enjoying every moment does not make you a bad mother.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can say is:
I’m not okay right now.
That sentence can be the beginning of relief.
You Are Not Alone
If motherhood feels heavier than you expected, please know this:
You are not the only one wondering why this feels so hard or missing who you were or trying your best while feeling depleted.
So many women have stood where you are standing.
And so many have found their way through.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself
There is no perfect formula, but small things matter:
- Telling one trusted person how you really feel
- Speaking with your GP, midwife or health visitor
- Resting where possible, without guilt
- Getting outside for fresh air and light
- Lowering the bar on what “productive” looks like
- Accepting help when it’s offered
- Seeking professional support early
You do not need to wait until things feel unbearable.
You deserve support now.
To Every Mother Reading This
Whether you are pregnant, newly postpartum, years into motherhood, trying to conceive, grieving, or somewhere in between - maternal mental health matters.
This week, and every week, we want to say what more women need to hear:
It’s okay not to be okay.
You are not alone.
And asking for help is a sign of strength, not failure.
With love,
RENUE x